Well, I'm not really one to start a blog but since I have WAY too much time on my hands, I thought it might be a good idea. No, in reality, I was up to my elbows in bubble bath with three wet, slippery kids, all seemingly wanting more water out of the tub than in, when I looked down to see snot on one shoulder, spit up on the other, and a hand print in an unknown substance on my pants! At what point did it become OK to "let myself go"? I wondered when other moms found time for themselves. Mine happens to be on rare occasions when I actually get the chance to sink into the hot water myself and tune out all sounds from the rest of the house with my favorite piano CD. (In my "previous life" I was a rather good instrumentalist. I still relish listening to GOOD music rather then tiny people tunes! Occasionally, when I'm really down, I will still break out my flute and find solace in getting lost in the music.) These are the "quiet" moments in my life right now. I am often jealous of my husband's 45 minute commute home, walk through the door with quick kisses, then another 40 minutes to an hour in the bathroom by himself. And then I feel guilty for being jealous! I know of one mom who locks herself into the bathroom just for a few moments of peace. I tried that once but all it got me was incessant banging on the door and chants of "What ARE you doing in there mommy???.....Are you going POOP???" This made me laugh but still created no peace for me. So, what is a mommy to do? I chose to start a blog. To put my thoughts into words while taking a few moments just for me. To use my adult intellectualism (what little God granted me with) to feel like the woman who actually earned a degree and might someday be able to carry an adult conversation again rather than feel like I am more comfortable in the realm of Sesame Street lingo. I will have to work on the spit up and hand prints some other time. Baby steps.
So, why "Just a Vapor"? This title comes from one of my favorite "reality check" Bible verses. James 4:14 "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." (NASB) If you know me, then you know that I am all about being real. I tend to not beat around the bush with others and hope that they do the same for me. I rarely had female friends growing up because most of them seemed so superficial that I just didn't have much in common with them. I'm not versed in fashion or beauty and seldom take take for either. (I'm sure there will be posts on this to come). So, this verse keeps it "real" for me. We are only here for a blink of God's eyes and then gone, yet our time here is important enough to Him that He cares about all the tiny insignificant things that occur and seem so big to us. In much the same way, I feel that the time I have with my children is just a vanishing vapor, a mist in the wind. They are here and then grown. I only have the time of the mist to teach them all that I can about God and living a life in service to Him while forever trying to learn more about Him myself. I hope that someday they can look back at my writings a get a small glimpse into their mother and maybe even into themselves through their childhood. Maybe I'll be able to look back and laugh about my time in the "trenches"! We are never promised more than yesterday and today. So, I'm hoping that this will be around for my tomorrows should God bless me with them.
I hope to talk a lot about planning for the future, confessions from daily "trench warfare", and about being a Godly wife through it all. I would love your feedback. Mostly to know that I am not alone but more importantly to learn from the wisdom of others. I can't wait to share the joyful words from my kids and the random guilty confessions from my heart. Until my next few moments of "Me Time". God Bless....
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